If I could do it all again, would I choose Burnout?

When I share my story and experience of Burnout, I'm often asked whether I would choose Burnout based on what I know now and where I am now in my life.

And the answer is always no.

I've made some really stupid decisions in my life, I've cocked things up royally, and I've done some stupid things. 

I'd do a lot of things very, very differently if I had to do them again, but I don't regret them. 

I know that changing any of these things would have changed the direction of my life in some way, so I wouldn't change them.  I can use them as learning.  And some of them I can now laugh about.

Whilst I've made my peace with my Burnout, and I know I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now if I hadn't experienced it, I would NOT choose Burnout to be where I am today.

If I could go back and change it, I would.  And if I could go back and stop it, I would.

Burnout has given me a lot.

It's made me realise what's really important in life.  It's given me work with real meaning and purpose.  It's forced me to live a life in total alignment to my values and to my strengths.  It's given me a drive like no other, the confidence to really make a difference, and a voice that I never knew I had.

For all of these things I'm grateful.

But if there were another way to gain these things, I'd take them.

Because whilst Burnout has given me a lot, it's also taken a lot.

It stole my energy, my physical, mental and emotional health, my career and time with my sons that I will never get back no many how many years I spend trying.  

I love my life.

I am grateful for being here every single day.

I am grateful for my relationships, my work, my home.

But on days like today, where my body and mind just cannot function fully, where it takes me several attempts to even try and construct an understandable sentence, and I cannot find the energy to get out of bed, I would do anything to live a life without the health issues.

You see, there's no cure for my conditions.

I can manage them, I can live with them, but I'll never cure them.

There's no treatment, no therapy, no procedure that I can have, there's no way to fully recover.

For many of my clients, and a lot of people I speak to, Burnout caused a serious, yet short term condition.  Something they were able to recover from, and as result, recover from Burnout.

Knowing that I cannot never recover from the conditions caused by Burnout, means there will always be Burnout present in my life.  And if I could change that, I would.

It's not something I dwell on, I am where I am, but each time I'm asked if I'd experience Burnout again, knowing what I know now, I do stop and think about it.

Would I really give up the life I have, if it meant going back and having the opportunity to improve my health? Yes I would.

We get one body in life, but new opportunities to create change every day.

I could grow and nurture a million relationships and I could build a million businesses.

But there is only one me. 

I'm the only me I have, I'm the only Mum my sons have, and if I'm not here, that's it.

Careers, jobs, opportunities, people, they all come and go, and never ever again would I sacrifice my health for a job.

I read once that health is wealth, and I don't think any of us truly appreciate what that means until we live with the consequences of poor health.

So if I could choose to go back, to make choices and decisions that would prevent Burnout and preserve my mental, emotional and physical health, I'd take them in a heartbeat.

There is only one me and there is only one you, and none of us know the impact that Burnout will have on us when it strikes.

I know now that every choice we make takes us in one of two directions; toward wellbeing or toward Burnout, the choice is yours.

What do you choose?

Kelly

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