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I'll never forget the day that the call came to tell me my replacement had died.
I was on a Mastermind day, I'd seen a couple of missed calls and I stepped outside into the courtyard during the break. The sun was shining, my energy was high, and I thought the call would be good news.
I don't remember how I responded.
I felt a mix of emotions and I wasn't sure how to process any of it.
Two days later, the call came to let me know that I'd not been the first HRD in the organisation to have become seriously ill.
Something inside me changed that week.
I'd left my corporate career to start my multi award-winning People and Change Consultancy. We were doing great work, working with great clients, making great money, and doing things differently, but my contact with the CIPD took me down a different path.
I'd reached out to them to ask what support was available for HRDs. To find out how many of us were becoming ill as a result of workplaces. And to see what was being done to support our profession ...
Shall we play a game of true or false?Ā Come on, itāll be fun!
Ok, here goes.
I ran a 5k once so now I can just put on my running shoes and run a marathon ā true or false?
I did some reps with my 15 kg dumbbells so now Iām ready to win the Olympic weightlifting team ā true or false?
Ok, how about this one ā¦
I went to bed really early last night as Iāve been feeling a bit run down over the last few weeks, and I can now limit my sleep for the rest of the year and stay healthy ā true or false?
In case you need me to tell you the answers, they are false, false, and false, but you know that already.
So why when it comes to wellbeing in the workplace do you think that one event a year is going to make the difference for you and your people?
When I started my career in HR back in 1998, I wanted to stop the Monday-to-Friday dying syndrome that I saw so many of my friends and family experiencing on a daily basis.Ā
I genuinely wanted to change the world of work for the better.Ā To creat...
What do you use your weekends for?
Rest, recharge, or recovery?
In the months and years leading up to my Burnout, weekends were about recovering from the work week that had been, and then just like a wind-up toy, Iād pop back into action, back into robot mode for the next week.
And like clockwork, I could tell you when Iād crash during my Christmas break, once Iād been the hostess with the mostess for family and friends for three days.
And not forgetting my summer holidays where Iād ended up with āfluā aching and unable to move, but I forced myself to have fun with my family so that I didnāt disappoint them.
During the lead-up to Burnout, the stress is what keeps you going.Ā
The good old primitive brain and the fight/flight response keep you moving to try and keep you safe.
In the days of hunter-gatherers, you wouldnāt sit down and have a break and a picnic with your friends whilst surrounded by wild animals, youād be eaten alive, and this same survival response is what is keeping you going.Ā ...
Currently, without even realising it, many more of you will be Primitive Leaders, rather than Innovative Leaders, and itās impacting you, your people, and your performance.
Hereās why!
As your stress levels increase you move from the intellectual part of the brain, the part that always gets things right in life, innovates, and sees possibilities, to the primitive part of the brain, the part where your fight and flight sits, the part where you can operate from previous patterns of thoughts and behaviours, the part that sees you in panic mode, always on the lookout for the next imminent danger.
The primitive part of the brain is what kept the hunters safe when we all lived in caves.Ā It wasnāt weighing up whether any of the wild animals had eaten and encouraging you to sit down in the middle of the field and have a picnic with your friends, it was keeping you on red alert, and keeping you safe.
And itās this red alert, that many Exec teams have been living in since 2020. And until you...
The Gender Gap and why #EmbracingEquity wonāt fix it!
Today weāll see our feeds filled with stock photos of women hugging each other and themselves, weāll see organisations talking about all that they are doing to #EmbraceEquity in their organisations whilst they bring out the bunting and balloons and provide a round of applause to all of the women in their workplace.
Don't get me wrong, I love a celebration (as long as it's a quiet, not over-stimulating one), and I love celebrating the incredible women in my life and in the world.Ā But Iām done with paying lip service whilst we still see very little actual change in practice. And, until there actually IS equity, for all, there's nothing to embrace!
Unless youāve been hiding under a bush for the last few years, youāll know that I talk about Burnout A LOT!Ā And whilst I work with men and women, the number of women I work with, who all come to me with the same issues as clients, or just to share their own story, is staggering. (And as a...
How can we raise our awareness of what's happening to us when we self-sabotage and are there any repeating patterns we can look out for?
Iām not perfect and I still have these old patterns and old behaviours of self-sabotage that can still come up to the forefront, either when Iām not in my best place or if Iāve been letting go of my non-negotiables.
What happens to our brains, to our thoughts when we end up in this fight, flight, freeze mode? What can happen when our stress levels increase and when weāre not putting our wellbeing first and doing what is best for us?
Itās in this state that we can fall into our old patterns and even though we know that weāre doing things that arenāt good for us, there is that part of our brain that just tells us to keep going.
I invite you to give the self-sabotaging part of you a name. Iāve got 3 parts that I recognise within myself. Twins called Edna and Edith and The Warrior within.Ā
If you recognise the self-sabotaging part of you, the part th...
The True Cost of Burnout
Burnout, as we know, is chronic workplace stress, and it sucks! It takes a long time to take hold of you and a long time to recover from it.Ā And still, the number of people reaching burnout continues to rise.Ā And itās probably no surprise that after the last few years, with global events our need to keep pushing, the increase in stress levels, and the need to prove ourselves worthy and good enough, have contributed to these growing numbers.
As we continue to move from one stressful event to another in our outside world, there doesnāt appear to be a time anytime soon that weāll see burnout numbers decrease.
And I hate to be doom and gloom in your inbox, but if weāre going to reduce, or ideally prevent burnout, then something needs to change.
I keep seeing posts and articles about who is to āblameā for burnout.Ā Is it the employer or the employee?Ā Surely if chronic workplace stress is whatās causing burnout then it should all be the employer's fault, right?Ā If...
Are You A Superhero?
I am not a superhero, and yet in the few years before I burned out, many of my friends, family, and colleagues would describe me as one.
āHey Superwomanā
āHey Wonderwomanā
āYouāre like a superhero, I donāt know how you do it allā
And on the back of my leaving card as I moved from my penultimate internal role to my final internal role, the Head of Comms and Marketing, Simon, added to the messages of praise for my high-performing, over-achiever ridiculously high standards with this image.
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Whilst I have never considered myself to be a superhero, a wonder woman or a superwoman, I canāt deny that the views of others, who saw me as a superhero of sorts, drove me to keep performing at the level I was performing at.
The endless juggling.
Each promotion came in very quick succession to the next.
The non-stop project work and continuous improvements.
The increased performance stats and the targets were all met, way before they expected and always to budget.
The...
How steep is the hill?
Last week really took it out of me.
#ThisIsBurnoutĀ was incredible, overwhelming in ways I hadn't imagined, emotional, tiring, and uplifting, all in one. My usual routine went out of the window, I'd added two additional things in that I should have said no to, and whilst I was expecting to be tired, I wasn't expecting to be as exhausted as I was. Plus, I'd been sat down for far too long each day, not something I normally do.
My partner Mick and I went on a long walk with Elysa, our rescue pooch, a beautiful Japanese Akita.Ā Mick has done the route a couple of times with his brother in the past, it was a new one for me, and whilst it was lovely, it was a bloody killer.
The distance was less than four miles, not a length that would normally phase me, and not too much less than I walk with the dog on a daily basis, but with more inclines and a big hill back to the car at the end, my calves are still aching.
The hills on the walk made me think back to a training ...
In a world full of polarities where one side of the fence is telling you to do more, hustle harder and push yourself to the limit, the other side is telling you to do less, focus on less, and be surrounded by less if you really want to succeed.
If Iām honest, Iāve mostly lived on the hustle-harder side of the fence.Ā A fierce overachieving, high-performing, recovering perfectionist who struggles with āslow and steadyā, with one pace, fast. If you want sh!t doing, Iām your woman.Ā I gave up on āto-doā lists years ago, instead having a āget doneā list, where if itās down it's done, and Iāve always stuck with that.
In my corporate career, I was the innovator, the rebel, the first one to try things differently, always striving for more, always working harder, always coming up with new ideas and new ways to do things, and itās been pretty much the same in my own businesses since I left the corporate world in 2014.
And yet, throughout 2022, I found myself wanting less.
Not wanting to achie...
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