Blog - Kelly Swingler

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Too...

wellbeing Jan 21, 2022

Have you ever been told that you are too…?

I’m sure that many of us, I know I have, have been told that we are too something at one point in our life and career.

Too…

tall

short

fat

thin

old

young

experienced

inexperienced

confident

good

bold

colourful

brave

self-confident

emotional.

All of these times that we've been told that we are way too much.

Too…

fierce

strong

masculine

feminine

loud

quiet

talkative

bossy.

All of these things that we've been told over the years I was for more years and then I care to remember really. If I think back to childhood and the times that I was told by my mum that I was too bossy. And then I was too shy, then I was too fat. I was too ambitious. I was too driven. I was trying to do too much. I was too much. I was too nosey, too curious. I was told by colleagues that I was too successful. That I was working too hard. That...

Wellbeing For Core-Led Women

wellbeing Jan 07, 2022

This week I want to focus on wellbeing.

As we know the last couple of years have been somewhat challenging in lots and lots of different ways. I know through the clients that I've spoken to I know from some of my own personal experience that the last couple of years have maybe added a few COVID curves to us all and that our health may not be at its optimal.

I know that for some of us the last couple of years have given us an opportunity to really think about the work that we want to do, to think about setting new boundaries and to really dig deep and in some ways to ask ourselves is this it?

Is this it is this what I want out of life is this the work that I want to be doing?

And in answering some of those questions, we've really started to think about who am I?

Who am I?

What do I want?

Who do I want to be where do I want to go?

What direction am I heading in?

And I suppose...

There Are No Rules

burnout wellbeing Nov 01, 2021

Its Monday, it’s the 1st of November, and already my social media is filled with posts about how with only two months left of the year we should all be smashing our goals and people asking if it’s too early for Christmas songs yet.

Let’s get the Christmas songs out of the way first, I love them! Play them as much as you want, do what makes you happy. If getting in the festive spirit is what you need right now, do it. If other people don’t like it, they can scroll on past or walk away. We have this ever year don’t we? Asking other people’s permission to do things that make us feel good. Why? Because we don’t want the criticism or the negativity of others. So we wait, we ask permission and when it feels like it’s acceptable to others for us to do something, then we go ahead.

What if there were no rules? What if you want to listen to your favourite Christmas song in September, or April? If it makes you feel good do...

Burnout | Recovery vs Healing

wellbeing Oct 15, 2021

Earlier this week I had a bit of a wobble and found myself in a place of doubt and fear. I’ve got some big plans for the next 12 months and over the last couple of weeks I’ve been getting everything planned, sharing everything with my team and ensuring that everything will happen when it needs to happen. And honestly, these plans are pushing me outside of my comfort zone. But as I’ve always believed, it’s on the other side of our comfort zone where the real growth occurs.

After weeks of planning and creating and delegating and feeling the excitement build, earlier this week I read a blog that sent me spiralling into fear and doubt.

The blog was by someone in my network and it listed a long list of things that they were hoping to achieve, before their coach told them not to do it as it was all too much, all for the wrong reasons and would likely take them off track and into burnout again and away from their real purpose. And as I read...

Why Balance Is More About Boundaries Than Time

coaching wellbeing Oct 05, 2021

When I ask clients to define balance for them, they talk about quality time with loved ones, feeling calm, feeling happy, having fun, taking time out for themselves, and yet when they first start to look at their free time during a week to make any of this happen, it’s taken up by other things.

We’ve all been on some kind of time management training during our careers, we’ve been taught about colour blocking, block scheduling, chunking, the time of day to complete certain tasks based on energy and brain power, Pomodoro techniques and many other things. And I use some great tools to help me to be as productive as possible throughout my week.

But the reality is for most of us that no matter how many times we are taught to manage our time, we don’t make it happen. And that’s because we don’t talk about boundaries. We talk about minutes and hours. And we all have the same amount of those.

...

Women In Business After Burnout

burnout coaching hr leadership wellbeing Oct 01, 2021

I’ve made no secret of the fact that after my Burnout I continued in my corporate career and that’s where I thought I’d stay, until, three months after my two operations in 48 hours, I heard myself say for the very first time that I wanted to start my own company.

Never had I ever imagined that this was a path I would take. Firstly, I had no real idea what I would do, secondly I knew nothing about starting a business, and thirdly, my dreams of the super large global role that I would be able to take on once my sons were finished school was the thing that had kept me in my role.

The drive though of starting my own consultancy became overwhelming, and within three months, I’d left my six-figure salary, created a business that was aligned to my values and started to really focus on the change that needed to be made in the world of work. And seven and a half years later, I’m still here and growing from strength to strength.

Recent...

10 Ways to Move from Burnout To Balance

burnout leadership wellbeing Sep 20, 2021

Until my burnout in 2013, if you had asked me about the important things in life, what I valued and what I prioritised, it wouldn’t have even occurred to me to put myself on that list. I had a long list of what I wanted to achieve, the goals, the promotions, the lifestyle, the income, the house, the type of mum and wife I wanted to be – for my sons and husband, not for me, and I was set on achieving it all.

I exercised a lot because it was a stress release and another thing to tick off the list, but I was never really present, just focusing on how much more I could do in the time and how much further I could go. Everything in my life was about doing, being and having better.

I’d been told that I couldn’t grow and develop my career whilst being a mum to twin sons, I was told I’d need more time to reach the top, I was told that my timelines and aspirations were unrealistic. I was told I should lower my expectations.

And...

Help!

wellbeing Sep 14, 2021

Asking for help can be hard for some of us and I’ve come to realise over the years that it’s because we don’t always know why we need the help or what kind of help it is that we need.

I was moved up a year at school, a bright and able student, I was often top of my classes. And yet the further I got through school, the harder I found Mathematics. I’d often overcomplicate things, overthink things and see numbers in a different way. If I asked for help from the teacher or my peers I’d end up feeling really stupid, I still couldn’t grasp what they were trying to tell me. I stopped asking for help and struggled in silence. And then I got a new teacher and it all just clicked. Not enough to make me enjoy it, but enough to help me understand it and enough to help me achieve a pass. I wasn’t stupid, I just needed a different perspective to help me see things differently so that I could understand it.

I didn’t know that...

Time Out

wellbeing May 10, 2021

For those that have followed me for a while, you’ll know that self-care and wellbeing are important to me. Since my burnout in 2013 I’ve created better boundaries in all areas of my life and that my ‘me time’ and daily practices are non-negotiable. I don’t and won’t compromise my time out, I know it’s needed, I know I need it and I know that if I’m not looking after myself then I can’t be my best self for my family, for my team, or for my clients.

When my sons were at school, scheduling holidays out of the office were fairly easy, I just needed to work around the holidays and with my husband and parents, we ensured that we had every school holiday covered and on the whole, I was off work for a week or two every six weeks, or every 12 weeks. My sons’ birthday is 18th December and so my Christmas break always starts then. This wasn’t possible when I worked in retail, but it has been every year since 2004.

...

When You're All Out Of BS Excuses (magic happens)

hr wellbeing Jun 16, 2020

We've all come up with an excuse, or many excuses as to why we shouldn't do things in life. Time is usually one of them and for me often the biggest, but I've realised over the last year or so, that every excuse I have for not doing something is met with even more reasons as to why I should. And then I make the time to make things happen.

Last week I launched kellyswingler.com and I can tell you it was scary. It was scary, mixed with a lot of excitement, a lot of apprehension, and no excuses as to why I shouldn't do it, I had no more left.

I left internal HR in 2013 to start The Chrysalis Crew at the beginning on 2014 and in 2015 I had this niggle that I also needed something that was me, so I bought the kellyswingler.com domain, and did nothing with it. Over the years this niggle has gotten bigger and bigger and I've continued to ignore it. I told myself I didn't have the time. I told myself it would detract from Chrysalis, I told myself it would be too much hard work, I...

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