Start the day your way
Hello hello and welcome to this latest episode of Frazzled with me your host, Kelly Swingler. Today let's talk about how to start your day right how to start your day right there's only there's so much there's so much of everything out there at the minute, isn't there? I was um what I was watching. I tell you what I was watching. I was watching um Appleider vinegar on Netflix. The story of the Australian bell Gibson, who uh who faked having cancer. I'd uh I'd seen a I think it was like a half hour BBC documentary before and I did go back to watch the the longer documentary series after I'd watch it after I'd'd watched Apple side of vinegar, but there was this thing about like wellness uh being this thing that had kind of come into uh I suppose into the mainstream, right in the in the 60s and 70s, this this thing called wellness, this thing thing called self-care and it just keeps growing right it grows and grows and grows. It's in the billions of pounds as as an industry, right? Wellness and self-care. And as a result of that, there are hundreds, thousands, probably millions, right, of experts out there telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing. how we should be thinking, how we should be feeling, how we should be starting our day, living our day, what we should be eating, what we should be drinking, how we should be sleeping. And you can look at you could look at 10,000 different things, right? And probably be told 10,000 different things. And when it comes to how to start your day, I know, again, I've seen and I've and I've probably tried to try so many different techniques because if it works for that person, maybe it will work for me. If they're, you know, if the the 5 AM um what is it five is it the 5 AM club? I've got a feeling that's what it is isn't it the 5 AM club? Is it Robin Sharma? um and you know, so we we kind of made to feel, aren't we, that if we're not in the 5 AM club, if we're not smashing mornings, if we're not going to spin classes and working out at 6 o'clock or 4 o'clock or 5 o'clock, then there's something wrong with us. We're told that, you know, if we're not doing all of it, you know, green juicing and exercising and reading and meditating and visualizing and doing 10,000 things before we even start our day in the morning, right we can be made to feel less than we can be made to feel that we're not doing things right we can be made to feel that will never be successful right? You see these you know kind of 10 things that every successful person does five things that every successful person does uh 10 things that successful people do to start their day, five things that successful people do to start their day. And it can become really, really, really overwhelming. But I think because we've always said right, what is your definition of success, right? That has to really be your starting point because that might been things that in, you know, in our in our rabbit ears, right 10 things that successful people might do every but actually what is their definition of success?? Their diff definition of success might look and feel totally different to yours. I am I used to I I love. I used to love. um the million dollar listing TV program, uh, particularly the New York one. I loved like uh Frederick Loomberg and uh Ryan Sirhant. I still have a huge crush on on Steve Gold. um but absolutely loved it and I think watching, particularly watching Ryan Sirhan from where he started out. And I remember one episode where I don't know if they got snowed in or they were storms or there was electricity cut or something but he was like stuck in New York on his own and he realized for the first time whilst he'd been out building this, you know, successful career trying to build this name for himself where he'd been focusing on money and the money all being about success. When he found himself in the city on his own, he realized that he was really lonely, realized that he needed to make some changes. He found his wife. They've had their daughter, but even I've watched, you know, his uh his his latest Netflix uh series. And he's doing some brilliant stuff and he's growing, but you can see the toll it's taking on growing his business to the way in which he's grown his business. You can see the weight that he has on his shoulders, knowing that, you know, he doesn't have a huge brand behind him, right? This is every penny that he has is tied up in this business and if it doesn't work, he's at risk of losing everything. You can see the toll that that's taking on him. He talks openly about the fact that he's not spending enough time with his wife and he's not spending enough time with his daughter, but for him at the moment literally everything he's got is is in the business. Everything is dependent on the success of his business. Now, you might not have a multiillion pound business that you're focusing on, but you might be the main breadwinner. You might be living literally from kind of paycheck to paycheck. You might not be doing any of those things, right? Your job, of course, is important. We want to earn money. We need to earn money. Many of us hopefully love what we do right and what we're probably one of those annoying people that's like where it doesn't feel like work. You know I do it because of something bigger I do it because it's something I believe in. I do it because I want to make a difference. Some of us for sure are going to work to pay the bills. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. But we're kind of told that it is right? oh, you like you shouldn't you shouldn't be doing that you're kind of selling your soul to the devil and whatever else it comes out. Of course some of us are literally at work to pay the bills when there are recruitment crises, when there are, you know, when markets are crashing, when there's hundreds of or thousands of layoffs in a particular sector, all at the same time, of course, then it can become a just need a job. I need a job for my mental health. I need a job to pay my bills. I need a job to do all of those things. There's no shame in any of that and yet again, if we look at what we're being told on many social media feeds and everything that's happening there, we can be made to feel that we're not doing well enough and one of those things comes back to how we start our day. Now I do. I am a big believer and I think I've said this to you before. I know that I need more sleep in like the depths of of darkest winter than I do in the summer. And again over the last kind of couple of months, I've really been tracking that. But like seven hours for me and and I'm awake because of the pain that I've I've been experiencing over the last few months with this endometriosis flare up, I've been falling, you know, I've been falling asleep a lot earlier because I've been falling asleep a lot earlier because my I'm just to the point of exhaustion. I'm also waking up earlier. I've tried like just an extra hour in bed and I just feel worse for it. So I've got my, you know, I'm at my kind of optimal sleep. I know that seven hours at the moment for me is it right and then and then I'm awake and I'm wide awake and I want to be doing things sometimes that thing is just going to have a bath. Sometimes that thing is getting on my yoga mat and again with the amount of pain that I've been experiencing it's not been an active yoga session like I would have been doing five or six months ago It's been really gentle. It's been really restorative. Some days I haven't been able to do that. Some days I haven't been able to get out of bed. Some days I haven't been able to walk the dog first thing. Some days I haven't been able to walk the dog at all. Some days I've got straight into work, but all of those things that I do are not based on shoulds. I don't feel like I should be doing it. There's no guilt attached to any of it. There's no shame attached to any of it. There's no fear attached to any of it. Just what do I need this morning? What do I need? What do I need right now? and when I know that, then I can go and I can give myself it again I recognize I'm in a position with my own business that I have more freedom and perhaps more luxury than people that are employed for a nine to five maybe for you it is sleep until the very very last minute that you've got get out of bed get yourself ready get to work but the purpose I suppose the message that I want to get across what I'd love to communicate with you for today is that whatever you are doing in order to start your day right, I want to encourage you to start your day right for you. not for a guru that's told you that you need to be up at 4:30 in the morning where you're failing at life not for me who's saying I will get on my mat as much as I can first thing in the morning without shame without fear without judgment without guilt if you feel great staying in bed until the very, very last possible minute, getting yourself ready and starting your day brilliant keep on doing that if you're feeling your head with shoulds, I should be exercising. I should be doing this. I should be doing this. I should be doing the other. Where are the shoulds coming from? Is it because you know if you did do those shoulds, you would feel better or is it because a guru or something that you saw on Instagram or one of your best friends or your parents or your boss or whatever, they told you that you should be doing it because if they're telling you all of that stuff, that's on them. They can do what they want with their mornings If you know that you would feel better if you got up half an hour earlier, then you get up half hour earlier if what you're doing is working for you keep on doing it but if there are feelings of shame or guilt or stress or worry or anxiety or any of that stuff, where is it coming from? See if you can answer that is it because you are experiencing comparisonitis because I don't know 123 10 people that you admire are all like yeah, I'm up at five and I'm you know I'm I go out for a run first thing as part of it's like oh, I'd really love to do that. Is that realistic for you? Now I can't remember the last time that that I shared this with you, but I I have this acronym. It's called urn. It was something that I was introduced to um by one of my coaches Tanya, years and years and years ago. So it's called urn. E a RN exercise attitude, rejuvenation, and nourishment Exercise does not mean I have to go and like train for a marathon. Exercise for me, particularly at the minute is a gentle restorative yoga practice. Attitude is attitude, right how do I feel? What's my mood? How am I acting? How am I reacting all of that stuff right it's the attitude is really mood attitude, how I feel The R then is redjuvenation. So that could be meditation. It could be journaling. It could also be, right, if we think about rejuvenation, it's the stuff that you do throughout the course of the day. Maybe it's the stuff like wait, you know those moments where you just completely lose track of time. Maybe it's a good film, maybe it's dinner with friends, maybe it's laughing, maybe it is playing with the kids. Maybe it's a conversations with family, but it's those moments you're not clock watching you just like time is not a thing whilst you're doing them for me like that's the best point of rejuvenation for me where I'm so in the moment. I'm so present that like nothing else matters for me that's the rejuvenation stuff. And again it's taken me years to get to that point because I used to just think that the rejuvenation was this list of things that I would just do in terms of self-care. I think I've shared with you before at this list of 15 things, at least 15 things, but I used to think I had to tick off my self-care list every single day because if I ticked off these 15 things, then I would be happy, then I would be healthy. and it wasn't because I was never present for any of them. It was like, oh, I've got to do the next thing. I've got to do the next thing. I've got to move on to the next thing. I've got all of these things that I need to do. So I was never actually present. When I stopped doing all of those 15 things and focused on like, what's the one thing that I need to do right now? Oh, do you know what? Just one of my favorite favorite favorite positions in yoga actually. And um my sister-in-law sent me a picture of my niece asleep like this. I was like I used to do that when I was younger. It's like legs up the wallpose, literally like sticky bum right up against the wall, legs up the wall. I could I mean, I could literally stay there all day and that's how I used to sleep as I tried didn't. was y didn't anything of it, but that's how that's that was the most relaxing position that I could get into. And I could lay like that forever. Sometimes that's my yoga practice.. Doesn't need to be strenuous. I don't need to be sweating. I don't need to feel like I've done everything. Sometimes it is that's what I need for as long as I need it and again we're all being thrown at these kind of lists for things so the rejuvenation is like the stuff where you just like lose yourself where you could be fully present in the moment. So exercise, attitude, rejuvenation, and obviously the nutrition, what you're putting into your body. So what what are you feeling, you know, what are you eating throughout the course of the day? And again, it's not about diets. It's not about calorie counting, but nutrition How are you nourishing your body throughout the course of the day? What are you nourishing your body with in terms of food in terms of drink? Do you basically said to me, do those four things and you'll notice a really big shift. And by that point I had stopped doing this list of 15 things, but that was a thing for me. But what I did recognize as I started to do it, for me, the exercise in the morning, albeit it said it might just be 10 minutes of laying up the wall like legs up the wall, but doing something in the morning then sets me up more for the rest of the day. If I start my day with my exercise, then my attitude, my rejuvenation and my nourishment are better. If I get out of bed and I have it and again like for me, it might just it might just be two minutes of stretching. It might be going for a walk. It might be a strenuous yoga when my body's able to do that. It could be five minutes or something. It could be 10 minutes or something. It could be five repetitions of weights could be a dog walk could be an hour long yoga right so it's it's what I need in the moment, but that movement, that exercise, that moving first thing I recognized would have then set me up for the rest of the day in terms of my attitude, my rejuvenation and my nourishment. If I skipped that movement and maybe went straight into work, I was then noticing that I might then be reaching for less nourishing foods for less nutritious foods. They might be the days I'm just, you know, I just want a biscuit or I just want cake or I just want whatever. And my body was craving those things. So then I noticed the knock on effect for my attitude when I was reaching for those sorts of foods. And then I realized that my rejuvenation, the things that I would do to like switch off my brain, allow me to be present, allow me to relax, allow me to reset were less likely to happen. And the key to all of those things was starting my day with exercise. But I think also, as I've mentioned to you before, right, for me, a good morning starts the night before. Have I had a good night sleep? What time am I going to sleep? How am I feeling? Have I prepared for a good night's sleep? Have I been, you know, working right up until I turn my laptop off and then expecting myself to go to sleep? Or have I been preparing for a good night's sleep taking my makeup off putting my nice oils on making sure the temperatures right in my room. No TV time no tech time not worrying about social media. Maybe I've had a nice long bathroom if I'm preparing for sleep, then I'll have a better night sleep in the morning now again I'm not saying that you have to do any of these things, but I wonder again if you could find a pattern so in terms of urn EARN exercise attitude rejuvenation nourishment, I recognized that the key for me to a great day and making sure that I was giving my body everything that it needed started with exercise. And as I said, it didn't have to mean I've got going to train for a marathon. It might be two minutes of stretching. It might be an hour long walk. It might be an hour on a yoga mat. It might be five minutes on the yoga mat. It might be three repetitions of weights. could be anything, but there's something that allows my body to move. If I do that first, my attitude rejuvenation and nourishment were much better throughout the course of the rest of the day, which then allowed me to have a better night's sleep that night, which then meant that I'd wake up the following morning. So I wonder again if there are patterns for you, right? If you can create some of that level of awareness, actually, I feel like crap this morning because I did this thing or didn't do that thing last night. I feel like crap every Monday because this is how I close on a Sunday for like crap every Sunday because this is what I do on a Monday. I feel brilliant on a Wednesday because I recognize that I've done this the night before right where are your patterns? What does a good morning feel like for you? What did what what happens or doesn't happen to allow you to start your day right? Not because a guru told you that you have to, but because you just know that intuitively it works for you There's always going to be noise about what we should be doing, but the key to moving us from frazzled to fabulous the key to banishing burnout the key to all of this stuff is recognizing what works for us each of us recognizing that we're all individuals, recognizing that we will have different wants. Maybe the seasons affect you differently. Maybe where you are at your point of life is affecting you differently to how it was six months ago, a year ago, five years ago All of that awareness can take away some of those feelings of being frazzled. Any of the shoulds recognize whether they're your shoulds or somebody else's if there's somebody else's we don't need them. If they're your own, maybe there's a little hint in there that you might want to do something about it, but we can ignore the gurus, the experts, everybody that's telling us do this, follow my brute blueprint, follow this framework, do these 15 things first thing in the morning, get up at 4:30 smash this, smash that. We can ignore all of that unless it works for you. But if you truly truly want to start your day right, understand what a good start to the day looks like for you get that right and I guarantee you you can be stepping one step further away from being frazzled. Thanks very much for listening Again today. I will be back with you again next week for another episode of Frazzled, as always, please do let me know what you think of this episode. I always love getting your feedback. And again, if you think this episode would be useful for somebody else, please share. right, when I get this message out to as many people as possible, um and I'm loving all of the fabulous new listeners that we are gaining. So please do share. I will be back with you again next the next Tuesday. Go have an amazing day. I'll meet you again so you can take care of an hour bye-bye.
